If you plan on enforcing a strict “no fatties” rule in your home or personal velvet roped nightclub, you’re going to need a way to enforce the rules. Sometimes a simple visual inspection doesn’t tell the whole story so you’re going to need a Doormat Scale (sp) to confirm if you’re dealing with a fatty or not. There’s no escaping this weigh-in if you want to make it in the door. Party on beautiful people. Could also be used in reverse if you’re a chubby chaser and looking for a minimum weight for entry into your home. There’s probably other uses too, like weighing yourself, but what fun is that?

gracias for the tip enrique!

Brando comes through again with another gadget you can’t live without- it’s the USB Heated Sheep Gloves. Nothing looks tougher than putting on a smiling fingerless winking lamb glove while you blast away some mutant aliens on your PS3. Costs $22, less the price of losing your dignity.

Don’t mind me, I’m just massaging the hedgehog. Pink or blue, plug the hedgehog in to your USB port and then let the hedgehog relax and pleasure you. ‘Nuf said.

brando (of course)

Ever wondered what the Hamburgler uses to relax his achy muscles at the end of a long day of hamburgling? Why the USB Heated Hamburger Massager from Brando of course. Plug it in to your computer, get that burger juiced up, and relieve the tension. And oh yeah, nevermind that pentagram painted on the bun.

via gizmodo

Japanese gadget maker Thanko is known for their, how can I put this gently, *unique* USB gadgets. Today they’ve come out with a trio of new ones that once again do not fail to disappoint in their bizarreness. First up, shown above is the USB toothbrush sanitizer. At first it makes no sense since who would use a computer in the bathroom but if you brush your teeth in your office after lunch, it’s actually a decent idea (although presumably you are sitting in a cubicle with electrical outlets, so the USB part is unneeded).

The second item in our trip down weird lane is the USB powered shoe dryer. Yep, it’s in the shape of a little sleeping dog. Dry shoes are great but I’m pretty sure the rest of your office doesn’t want to smell your wet feet once you take your shoes off.

Lastly is the USB eyelash curler. I’m not sure why you’d need this to be USB powered, or even powered at all but if you want to get those eyelashes all flirty and curled while sitting in front of your computer, you’re all set with this weird gadget.

If you’re looking to take a quick nap in the middle of your work day and can’t get away with a George Costanza style sleeping shelf under your desk, then perhaps it’s time to take a look at the Vertical Bed. The sleep aid packs up into it’s own handy travel suitcase and lets you sleep undisturbed standing up.

The Vertical Bed needs to be attached to a metal subway grate to remain sturdy and support your weight. It includes a pair of sunglasses to shield your eyes, noise canceling headphones, and an umbrella. A successful 40 minute sleeping test was performed in New York City recently, so I fully expect the city to be full of Weekend at Bernie’s-like men standing asleep at every subway grate sometime in the near future.

design launches via gizmodo

If you’re looking for a deep bottom from your speakers, perhaps the Asspeaker design is right up your alley. Perfect for blasting a little Sir Mix-a-Lot, the larger pair in the middle makes the subwoofer while the smaller outside juicy doubles come together to form a double bubble when not in use and the globes split when you’re playing music. Looking for the volume controls? Simple rub the cheek in a circular manner to increase or decrease the sound level. Interesting speaker concept, doubt it would ever be produced, but you never know.

When you’re sick the last thing you want to do is pluck a chicken while ice fishing and eating cottage cheese. But the second to last thing you want to do is get up to grab the tissue box. Well lucky for you there’s a product out there to help- the remote controlled tissue box, from Japan (natch). Avoid swine flu this year! If someone across the room asks you to pass a tissue, just use the remote controlled box to send it over and maintain your 20 foot safety germ-free buffer zone.

via crunchgear