It’s a Halloween spooktacular here today with one of the best non-Halloween Halloween movies- Edward Scissorhands. Tim Burton FTW. Before Johnny Depp was an effeminate pirate, he was an effeminate moody man with scissors for fingers. Here are the 13 strangest Edward Scissorhands items you can buy today.
I have no explanation for the Edward Scissorpaws Mouse. Really, Johnny Depp as a tiny mouse defies any logical explanation, yet is somehow appealing. It makes me think of Steve Carrell’s character in Dinner for Schmucks.
Class up your workplace wardrobe with this stylishly bizarre Edward Scissorhands Tie. Wear this and guarantee to get noticed by your boss (perhaps not in the way you want, but you will get notices); crazy tie Fridays will never be the same.
Get that key piece of Depp memorabilia for the Johnny Depp room in your house (what, you don’t have one?) with Johnn Depp Signed Hedgeclippers. They probably work too, although we’d recommend you stick to hedges and not haircuts with these.
What time is it? It’s Depp time baby. Sell that Rolex and get yourself an Edward Scissorhands Watch and you’ll always know when your next ice sculpture delivery is scheduled for.
Maybe you like wine and Edward Scissorhands. But your friend likes wine and Willy Wonka and your other friend likes wine and Alice in Wonderland; no problem! Just grab these Johnny Depp Wine Glass Charms and everyone can have wine and Depp. Unfortunately for the 21 Jump Street fans, you’re out of luck on this one.
Look good with a Edward Scissorhands Mirror because you are beautiful no matter what they say, words can’t bring you down (that song totally would have been in the movie if it had been written 10 years earlier).
Nothing inspires jealousy in your fellow Starbucks’ customers like a Edward Scissorhands Macbook Pro Skin Decal Sticker denoting your retro coolness while you sip overpriced lattes in made up cup size names. Make Winona Ryder proud because Reality Bites. Oh wait, wrong movie- f-me gently with a chainsaw.
Go deep into the depths of Depp with a Johnn Depp Scissorhands Montage. This montage is a giant Johnny Depp made up of hundreds of smaller Johnny Depp images. It’s a Depp made of Depps; that’s deep.
No home is complete without the Edward Scissorhands 9″ Action Figure. The best part is that it comes with his pet dog who looks totally frightened. Also it doesn’t look all that much like the real character.
Well maybe you don’t want Edward’s dog but your own dog is a huge fan of the movie. Then why not outfit him in a Edward Scissorhands Dog Shirt because like Edward, your dog is misunderstand too.
This Edward Scissorhands Wind-Up is just weird. They’ve taken something kinda creepy and managed to make it even creepier. It kinda looks like Miahcel Jackson Bad. Well done, I suppose- slow clap.
This is more of an interpretation of Mr. Scissorhands but a Zombie Kid Scissorhands Belly Navel Ring Body Piercing? I know what I’m getting myself this holiday season (an iPad, what did you think I was talking about?)
And of course no list of top Edward Scissorhands items would be complete without a pair of actual (costume) Scissorhands gloves.