Now that Winter is nearly here, it’s time to start thinking about ice therapy. Yes- rolling frozen objects around on your face and body will relieve sore muscles, reduce tension, and cool you down (or so they claim). The perfect gadget to use is not an ice cube and some tongs but the Ice Face Facial Massage Pain Tension Relief Roller from ChiActivate.

Simply place the ice face roller in the fridge and when you need some relief take it out and roll it all over your achy body. No wires, batteries, or messy attachments. Just cold relief. Other uses they suggest for this miracle product: reducing after shave burn, preventing wrinkles, reducing puffy eyes, relieving sore muscles, headaches, sprains, carpel tunnel syndrome, and tennis elbow. Ice, is there anything you can’t do?

Here’s a cute little tortoise that’s a massager for your back and shoulders (and other body parts that need massaging too, I suppose). I’m not sure why they are branding it as a tortoise massager instead of the clearly more marketable turtle moniker but maybe that’s because there’s actually some sort of physical difference between the two that only the wise geeks at Brando know. To the average person (read: me) there’s no physical difference other than the fact that every time I type tortoise I need to look at it twice to make sure I got the spelling correct.

The other mystery about this vibrating reptile is why it has a USB connection. Clearly (and it’s stated in the description too) this soothing shelled swimmer is powered by a pair of AA batteries. Yes it COULD be powered by the USB but why would you do that? The cable would definitely get in the way and it’s short length would force you into an uncomfortably awkward position near your computer which would lead to back and shoulder pain for which you would need a handheld vibrating massager. It’s like the circle of life. Or something.

When you think foot comfort you think hippopotamus. I know I do. It’s a natural association. Actually, if I’m being honest here, I have an unnatural fear of hippos ever since I accidentally swallowed a ball during raucous game of Hungry Hungry Hippo in my youth. In case you’re interested, those balls do eventually come out in the end. And yes by “come out in the end” I do mean the other end of the body. And yes it hurts. A lot.

If you’re feet are in need of some relief, slip them into this giant fleece covered double foot massager. Yes for some odd reason you have to slip both feet in at once, which makes getting up to answer the phone or doorbell awkward to say the least (and nevermind what your guests might think when they see you potato sack racing to the front door with a giant plush two headed hippo on your feet). It does come with a wired two speed remote, so that’s something. The hippo massager costs £24.99 which is about $40 and it comes with one of those massive British plugs so you’ll need a converter if you’re Stateside.

hippo massager via nerd approved

Every week at the Craziest Gadgets home office here in Gadgetville, USA, we find cool new gadgets to write about and every week we go out and drink beer instead of actually writing about them. We call this feature: Gadgets Roundup. Why? Because we couldn’t think of a better name (because we’re drunk). If you have a better name, leave a comment, maybe we’ll use it. Here’s what you would have seen if we weren’t on the sauce:

Napster drops their prices to $5 for 5 DRM-free MP3 downloads plus unlimited streaming from their library of 7 million songs. If you were going to buy 5 songs a month anyway, it’s like getting free streaming service. Not a bad deal really.

Musical condoms shaped like animals that glow in the dark? ‘Nuf said. (Gizmodo)

A stuffed animal monkey that you can draw glow in the dark designs on his stomach and ears with a special UV pen. Kids, today’s lesson is graffiti. Can you spell graffiti? (nerd approved)

Working flamethrower made from LEGO Technics sounds like an ideal father/son project for this weekend. (Techeblog)

Incredible video of a crazy guy on a Segway with a Steadicam as he jumps off the Segway onto the stage and circles the performer seamlessly. (BB Gadgets)

Riding the coattails of the Snuggie (or blankettails if you will) is The Wearable Towel- a towel with two arm holes in it so you can wear it- tunic style or toga style. I wish I was making this up, but this is an actual product. (crunchgear)

Command option Z it with Mac Keyboard pillows. (geeky gadgets)

Super Mario Bros handpainted dresser. Cool, geeky, fun. (walyou, technabob)

Mario mushroom vibrating massage pillow. (geek alerts)

Random non-gadget link of the week: Beedogs.com “the premier online repository for pictures of dogs in bee costumes”. You don’t want to know how many non-premier sites I had to wade through to find this premier site for you guys.

And now back to the beer.