Tenderizing meat is tough business and you’re a tough guy. Show that meat you mean biz-ness with the Knuckle Pounder Meat Tenderizer. A side benefit is that you can now quasi-legally walk around with a set of badass brass knuckles (actually solid aluminum alloy) ready to tenderize anyone’s face who messes with you.
Officer I was just heading home to tenderize some meat when this guy walked right into my hand. Yes I was coming home from baseball practice that’s why I have this bat too. This knife? It’s to cut the meat after I tenderize it. The sword? It’s to put the meat on after it’s been tenderized and cut, I’m making sword kabobs. So I’m free to go officer?
See that, works every time.
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“Officer I was just heading home to tenderize some meat when this guy walked right into my hand. Yes I was coming home from baseball practice that’s why I have this bat too. This knife? It’s to cut the meat after I tenderize it. The sword? It’s to put the meat on after it’s been tenderized and cut, I’m making sword kabobs. So I’m free to go officer?” Must be a Brazilian who works at a Churrascaria.