This is the most difficult post I’ve ever had to write. Resisting the urge to pull some quotes from the Simpsons yo-yo tricks episode (season three: Bart the Lover) is ripping me apart at the seams. Must resist. Twirl King. Damn too weak. Episode is too good. Resistance proved futile. World champion yo-yo master Shinobu Konmoto is selling these $5000 yo-yos that take six months to make and look really classy as far as yo-yos go but $5000? For a yo-yo? That’s a lot of dough, yo.