It’s not often I get to type out the phrase “lobbing pickles” but when I do, it’s always a good time. Anywho, we’ve all wanted to lob pickles at our neighbor or buddies at some point but as with any food throwing there’s always issues, especially with pickles.
First off, there’s the brine that drips everywhere when you wind up to throw it. Nobody wants to smell like pickles the rest of the day, especially if you’re trying to be stealthy about your pickle attack. The brine trail and pickle reekage is a surefire giveaway that you are the childish douche in the office.
Then there’s the throwing itself. As we all learned in 7th grade health class, no two pickles are alike. This makes getting a consistent throwing motion to achieve the necessary pickle lobbing accuracy needed to hit your target very difficult. A team of former NASA scientists and ex-Microsoft software engineers determined that a better solution for pickle chucking was needed. Operation G.H.E.R.K.I.N was in full effect.
After much experimentation, fine tuning, patent searching, and meetings with lawyers and congressmen, along comes the Pickle-Pult to save the day. The Pickle-Pult is a trigger activated pickle catapult that launches up to four 1.25 inch long plastic pickles at your enemies. The plastic pickles are perfectly aerodynamic for better launching and they seem to have a slightly horrified expression on their face. Ideal for a wack pickle attack back after a snack or as a knick knack pickle attack stacked in a pack of sacks jacked up on a hacked tack in a shack . Office warfare has never been this dill.
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